100% Historically accurate.
The Patron Saint of Ireland
But he ain’t from there
He’s actually from Banwell
Near Weston-Super-Mare
Abducted from the Westcountry
A situation grave
He was taken to the Emerald Isle
As a cheery Emerald slave
He stole a car and tried to flee
A plan that proved quite risky
He got as far as County Cork
But then got pissed on Whisky
Once sober, he shook servitude
I guess he thought it stunk
On a Speedboat went to Europe
And turned into a monk
His new life there was pretty sweet
With prayers and penance daily
But no-one there liked Bono
And no-one could spell Ceilidh
So despite the comfy continent
With its Bread and Wine and Cheeses
His heart sang back to Ireland
To spread the word of Jesus
There Patrick spread his Christian Charms
Until his days did finish
So we can all wear green on Tuesdays
And drink Shitloads of Guinness
