Feed the Birds

The product of a pretty grueling day spent yesterday in Gunnersbury Park.

Enjoy the sun Goosies

I couldn’t remember if i’d posted recently so I wrote a poem…to be sure.

100% Historically accurate.

The Patron Saint of Ireland
But he ain’t from there
He’s actually from Banwell
Near Weston-Super-Mare

Abducted from the Westcountry
A situation grave
He was taken to the Emerald Isle
As a cheery Emerald slave

He stole a car and tried to flee
A plan that proved quite risky
He got as far as County Cork
But then got pissed on Whisky

Once sober, he shook servitude
I guess he thought it stunk
On a Speedboat went to Europe
And turned into a monk

His new life there was pretty sweet
With prayers and penance daily
But no-one there liked Bono
And no-one could spell Ceilidh

So despite the comfy continent
With its Bread and Wine and Cheeses
His heart sang back to Ireland
To spread the word of Jesus

There Patrick spread his Christian Charms
Until his days did finish
So we can all wear green on Tuesdays
And drink Shitloads of Guinness

Goosesmoke meet Horatio Fortescue Esq. Horatio Fortescue Esq. meet Goosesmoke…..Delighted

At the invitation of my good friend Mr Newington Smith I intend to use this page to highlight contemporary issues for all who seek to pursue the chivalric values and way of life of a gentleman, despite the vulgarities and stresses of the modern age. The aspiring chap faces more challenges than ever in the struggle to retain his dignity in a world where sportswear appears to have been mistaken for fashion wear by what appears to be an ever increasing proportion of the population; where millions spend every Saturday evening watching charmless oafs strive to prove to the nation that they have the ‘X-factor’; and the current number one single is performed by a gentleman named ‘Flo Rida’.

This blog is by no means the first to highlight the plight of the gentleman. Foremost in leading the call is Chap magazine (www.thechap.net), a distinguished men’s quarterly which has been at the vanguard of a growing Chappist movement, mainly, it would appear, appealing to extremist Dandies in dangerously debonair attire.

The chap always has, and always will need to adapt to modern times: the challenge being to do so in a manner that does not jeopardise the timeless values of the gentleman, and avoids the vulgarities and bland trends that face us at every turn.

And as I type, it strikes me that technology itself places the chap in something of a predicament. The mobile phone and, in particular, the Blackberry, in many ways appear to be threaten the very soul of the gentleman, who seeks to experience things rather than look at them on a screen; prefers the spoken and the written word to communication using txt msgs; and who seeks a cultured an independent lifestyle away from the bland barbarism and the restrictiveness generated by techno-slavery. But here lies a contradiction. For what am I doing now but using an internet blog to spread the word of the gentleman? Dilemmas lie around every corner for the modern day chap as he attempts to adapt to the modern world with his dignity in tact.

I leave you with some tips for how I would go about use of advanced communication technology devices:
•    The use of text messages should be strictly reserved for organisational matters, such as the finalisation of details for a rendez-vous, or to arrange to be picked up by one’s driver. Of course, such details would be better managed using a telephone conversation, or in many instances by letter, but of course the pace of modern life often does not allow for this. The use of the text message as a tool to maintain social relationships with others is vile;
•    The above also applies to the use of email;
•    A man using internet social networking websites as a means of maintaining social relationships or re-establishing friendships is not a gentleman. A gentleman (and indeed, I am sure, a lady) does not take kindly to being ‘poked’, and the very notion of gaining a new friend through the click of a button is, quite frankly, beyond his comprehension.

Regards

Horatio Fortescue Esq.

Blabbermouth at Nutbucket 05.03.09

“Inside this can ‘o worms is another fuckin’ can o’ worms”

www.myspace.com/therealblabbermouth

I’m Fu****-****ing Yours

So the Goose was lounging on the sofa last Thursday, a duck-egg blue pashmina wrapped round its long slender neck, idly feathering through the channels whilst waiting for the ads to finish so it could get back to watching Gilmore Girls on E4+1, when it came across a bewitching tune by one Jason Mraz. Inspiration struck, and the Goose used its considerable influence to finagle Sir Spliff Richard & Des O’Chronic into producing this future-dubbed up, spoken word version of the song!

The Goose hopes you enjoy this, and wishes you all a very merry Tuesday!
love domx

Suffocation by Paul Manamon

Dick on a Horse

Friday Awesomeness

Mega interesting important article has yet to emerge from my biran so, so as not to be accused of being a hypocrite I am posting this piece of magical funness:

Keyboard Drumkit

Naming and Shaming

Apologies for the lack of updates this week. Those to blame are:

George

Dom

Maria

Francis

Which makes Chris our only non-lame Goose. Well done Chris, your commitment is an example to all.

LOL Flaps

Too Good To Be True

Too Good To Be True

Happy Sunday.

Chris